Veteran Role Model

It is easy to recite the “Remember Me” lines, “You can shed tears that he is gone, or you can smile because he lived.” Reflecting on the impact a recently passed veteran has had on me, it is difficult to fight those sad emotions.

Two weeks before veterans day, Lt. Cmdr. Donald Thompson passed away at 98 years old. A Navy aviator in World War II, he lived a remarkable life. As has been reported in many places, he fully lived life to the end. I previously shared his war experience in the Battle of the Atlantic, and on this centennial of the Armistice of World War I, it would be easy to focus on the period of his military service. For Don, like all veterans, their military contributions to the country are a portion of who they are. My experience with Don, as my neighbor since I was two years old, was of the whole person, and how has had been an enduring role model.

Reflecting back on our interaction, outside of our family, Don has had the most influence on my parents and me in ways that have profoundly shaped our lives for the better.

Professionalism

Without question, he is the first person I knew that was a professional. Not as a point of status, he wore a suit to work when most everyone I recognized wore a factory uniform. At the time, he was a couple years removed from managing customer service at Lyon Metal Products. Our family was modest, both my parents worked hourly jobs at the office furniture manufacturer in town, and came from modest backgrounds of our extended families. As a child, I certainly did not recognize this in any measurable way, but looking back, his professional manner and the subtle differences of being a leader, as opposed to being led, came through in his interactions.

When I was in fifth grade I interviewed him about working. It was a sizeable report for a ten year old, but I only recall one question I asked. Why did he go to work at Merchants Bank after he retired from his career at Lyon Metal Products? His reasoning, “I still have a lot of suits to wear out.” Though a nod to his dry sense of humor, it reflected his nature as a customer facing professional. And where better to do that than at a bank.

Charisma

A natural friendly, extravert, everyone that came in contact with Don liked him. The volume of people at his funeral and the number of glowing stories on facebook reflect the caring, personal way in which he connected with people. In these outpourings, I an see that my family and I are not the only ones with which he connected, seemingly effortlessly.

As an introvert, I would gravitate to his wife, Doris, and her quiet nature, but was transfixed by the ease at which Don connected with others. He made friends and lasting connections in every aspect and endeavor of his life. This seemed impossible for a shy kid that did not want to introduce himself to anyone. I have strived for that continually, and know the impact of openness and a smile can have on others.

Caring Unconditionally

It is a disservice to quantify such things and the most difficult to put into words. I can say confidently that Don and Doris were the first people, outside of my family, that loved me unconditionally. They may have deeply cared for other people as well, and I hope that there are many others who had the gifts of life with them that I have. It would be too easy to say that they were like grandparents. I do not want that analogy to oversimplify their effect with a stereotypical idealisation, or to marginalize the relationship of my family.

Whether it was a swim meet or a Cub Scouts event, Don would periodically attend my activities. This type of caring and interest in others cannot be understated. Learning that there were people interested in my life was significant. It was a safety net. I knew my parents cared and would support me. Having someone outside of the nuclear family provided an added dimension of confidence. Although they were childhood events, the particulars of which are long gone, this interest and personal caring created confidence. Pursuing the unknown and trying new things is in part from his unconditional love and support through those formative years of my life.

Giving

During his full time work career and part time jobs after retirement, he always maintained charitable efforts. Throughout his adult life, he was a Shriner, supporting their causes. For many years he also volunteered at the nearby hospital and raked up over fourteen hundred hours of service. His giving was my early motivation of helping others. This example has continually motivated me to be involved and give back to others in areas where I can.

Adventure

Although we were only neighbors for four years, Don and Doris’ connection to us endured the rest of their lives. After moving, the frequency of visits with them became more spaced out, measured in months instead of days. When we would stop to see them, there were always stories of trips they had been on and where they were planning to go on vacation. Don drove them everywhere, they hit almost all 48 states during their 66 years of marriage. Doris also shared with us her love of visiting Bavaria.

Absent their vacation adventures, my only concept of travel was going to see my grandma in Florida. The concept of going on vacation, in what seemed a far off place, was unimaginable. The stories and trinkets they brought back made these places attainable. I embraced their stories of adventure. The idea of travel is difficult for some. I think about the twelve countries and twenty-eight states I have visited in my professional career. Though those experiences are not vacation, Don and Doris’s influence has made embracing the unknown destination my default mindset.

Growth Mindset

Don had a growth mindset well before it had a label. He was always trying new things. In his seventies he got on the internet, complete with a Compuserve email address. He spent the decade as an octogenarian working part time in customer service at Home Depot (because he was a people person!), and being an early adopter of a smartphone. In his nineties, he started using facebook (because why not), flew a T-6 Navy trainer aircraft (it was liking riding a bike, he proclaimed) and went skydiving (how did a doctor clear him to do that?).

The growth mindset was ingrained in who he was and remarkable to see from a front row seat. My effort of writing in the last couple of years is definitely a result of his influence, as a creative outlet and tackling a new domain. I hope to maintain such endeavors and continue to be relentless in learning like him.

Closing

We are fortunate to have veterans whose sacrifices in the past, along with those active duty service people enduring today, have made this present possible for us. I am so fortunate the relationship I had with Lt. Cmdr. Don Thompson and the positive after service impact he had on me, as well as all those he touched in his civilian life. Reflecting back, there is no doubt he has significantly contributed to the life I have today.

November 8, 2018November 9, 2018

Thank you Formtek!

Time files. The twelve years here have gone quickly. Strangely, I can reflect back to different periods of time, and they don’t seem long past. The last few months have been a personal struggle; reflecting on what I could do and how I could stay with this organization forever, then posit that if I am going to make a change, for my family’s interest, the time is now. The tug of staying here with this wonderful team has been a steady force, making this decision all the more difficult. Some of you have told me that making a move like this is brave. This is a good company made up of great people, and there is some risk in trading this for unknown challenges. For those that see this change as bravery and am happy for the new future ahead, thank you, your sincere feelings will fuel me through the uncertainty.

I have struggled to come up with what to say, and how I may thank everyone here. I could go around and thank everyone for something, and that is a reflection of the healthy team we have here. Instead, to emphasize the magnitude of their significance, I want to focus on a few.

The thanks start and end with Brian. He knows this, as I have told him many times. He is the one that hired me and that pushed for me when Joe didn’t want me because I was too young. Brian selflessly stepped aside so I could be the sales manager and he stayed with the organization. Without his short-term sacrifice, I would have not not had the growth and opportunities that I do today.

It is also important for me to thank Bruce and Darren. They have been extremely supportive of my development. A lot of the things I have worked on or crazy back to back travel itineraries were not assignments from them, but instead was my pursuit of opportunities that I saw for the business. I have benefited tremendously from being provided that latitude and hope that these development efforts will be beneficial for the organization for years after I am gone.

The last one I want to single out is Paul. He and I have traveled a lot of places, in search of sales, as well as setting up and tearing down numerous trade shows. For the past 10 years, we have spoken, skyped or texted almost every single day. I consider Paul a true friend, and my future will not be the same without this daily interaction.

I could not think of how best to sum up all the moments and experiences that have occurred over the years. Recently I read The Tao of Pooh, and I came across a passage the seemed like a perfect fit to describe my time at Formtek:

“The honey doesn’t taste so good once it is being eaten; the goal doesn’t mean so much once it is reached; the reward is not so rewarding once it has been given. If we add up all the rewards in our lives, we won’t have very much. But if we add up the spaces between the rewards, we’ll come up with quite a bit. And if we add up the rewards and the spaces, then we’ll have everything–every minute of the time that we spent. What if we could enjoy it?”

I have enjoyed my time at Formtek. Not only the high points of our success, the rewards, but the process and path to those successes, the time in between. I can say that I came in to work here, striving for success and how we could be our best.

I leave here fondly thinking of Formtek.

Good luck, all the best, and thank you very much!

October 27, 2018October 30, 2018

Missouri S&T Athletic Hall of Fame Induction Speech

2018 Missouri S&T Athletic Hall of Fame Class

Even though I received the letter 4 months ago, I am still surprised to be here today. It’s quite humbling. Being an engineer and swimmer are a couple of the defining elements of who I am, so this honor feels like a combination of the two.

Nowhere else can I start than by thanking my parents. Their sacrifices, financially and emotionally, as well as nights, weekends and missed family vacations, are the reason I am standing up here. This honor is theirs more than anyone else. Thank you.

Also, I want to thank Doug Grooms and Mark Mullin. Coach Grooms doggedness in recruiting me was a key factor in landing here. With a limited budget, he maximizes the resources available and maintains a nationally ranked team year after year. During my time at UMR, Mark was head of the NCAA swim committee and kept swimming a priority at the Division 2 level. Student-athletes continue to benefit from his commitment to the sport and NCAA Interscholastic athletics in general.

I did not expect him to be here today, but I feel it also important to thank Keith Bailey. His continued financial support of the university has made this experience possible for countless students, including me. Along with a group of students, I was fortunate to meet him during my time in Rolla. He shared with us a story of accepting new challenges. My takeaway from that encounter is to embrace the new and unknown. In this era, many challenges we tackle are unprecedented, there are no right or wrong answers, we need to try, fail quickly, learn, and keep pushing forward.

I am also grateful for my teammates and those I was fortunate to help coach and recruit while I was here. Reflecting on the other swimmers that have preceded me in Hall of Fame induction, and those I expect are upcoming, it is hard for me to see how I measure up to the heights of their athletic accomplishments. Since finding out about this honor, I have reflected on how I got here and why I may have been selected.

Recently I read the allegory of Taoism by Benjamin Hoff, which helped to galvanize my perspective:

That doesn’t mean that the goals we have don’t count. They do, mostly because they cause us to go through the process, and it’s the process that makes us wise, happy, or whatever. If we do things in the wrong sort of way, it makes use miserable, angry, confused, and things like that. The goal has to be right for us, and it has to be beneficial, in order to ensure a beneficial process. But aside from that, it’s really the process that’s important. Enjoyment of the process is the secret that erases the myths of the Great Reward…Perhaps this can help to explain the everyday significance of…the Way.

During my time in Rolla, whether I was a student, athlete, teammate, researcher or assistant coach, I embraced and enjoyed the process. I hope that embracing the process is the legacy I left. The experience in Rolla and embracing the process has had an immeasurable influence on my life, for which I am forever grateful.

Thank you!

January 1, 2018January 2, 2018

3 Easy Changes to Kill it in 2018

There will be A LOT of articles popping up about recommendations for goals and resolutions for the new year and this is not meant to steer you in a direction goalsetting. These simple tips are ways to create a framework for accomplishing your goals in the new year, whatever they may be.

Quick Summary to Get You Going

1. Planning

How are the goals, tasks or objectives you have going to happen? It may seem obvious, but there is no way of crushing your goals without a plan. Our new year’s resolutions are not the only thing we have going on, so we have to weave them into our lives, the resolutions will not just happen because we want them. Plan your day, week, and month to make sure there is time built in to work on those resolutions.

2. Gratitude

In Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman’s book, Flourish, he expands on his research in the area of positive psychology. One of the big takeaways is making time for gratitude. He suggests taking time each day to write down for what you are grateful. Write down three things that you are grateful for each day. Documenting these positive, reinforcements helps us to frame our mindset each day to the good, which keeps us going. Additionally, looking back on these ‘gratitude points’ can be motivation, a way to keep working towards those resolutions and new goals, even when the finish line may seem far away.

3. Bookending

My professional coach, Claire, gave me this one. Set aside time between activities during your day to recharge. Use that time, a few minutes is enough, to focus on things that give you energy. Whether it is internal (looking at pictures of family and friends) or external (chatting about something topical with a colleague), this time is critical, to mentally recover and segue into the next activity.

Resolutions 1. 2. 3. image from Greater Good Magazine.

Continue reading “3 Easy Changes to Kill it in 2018”

December 22, 2017January 2, 2018

Make the Most of Charitable Giving

Despite missing Giving Tuesday, the holiday season remains a time that I set aside time to organize all of our donations for the year. Typically, I tackle this the week between Christmas and New Years. We always look back to the organizations we have donated in the past, reflect on what happened this year and discuss if there are additional organizations that we would like to donate. Through the last few months of the year, I set aside the charity mailers that we receive, as a reminder of those we have donated in the past. Although we only donate to a handful of charities, the volume of mailers received really stacks up.

A couple weeks ago I was speaking to our physician, who mentioned that he annually supports The City Mission. Although we do not donate monetarily, I am familiar with the organization because we support their fundraising events that occur throughout the year. Since we were on the topic of charitable giving, I mentioned my frustration that the charities we support send us A LOT of mailers, which is a complete waste of monetary resources. I was pleasantly surprised that he indicated the same frustration. The money spent sending mailers to me (and to our physician) is wasted.

Tri-C Foundation Scholarships

Supporting our local community college, as an example. At a recent event, they were quick to request my work address. Within days I received a donation mailer, which I had already received at home, because I have been a donor for a few years.

**Putting on my B2B marketing hat, a few things came to mind**

We have already converted from a prospect to a contributor. We are no longer a prospect. Do not throw us back into the middle of the marketing funnel!
Your contact database now has two records for the same person. Guess what? One record is a prospect and the other is a donor.

I was disappointed by this incident because it felt like there was no consideration of incremental cost. If they have a thousand duplicated contacts, which is likely a very low estimate, that is an additional scholarship that could be handed out each semester!

For someone that always donates online, like me, there is probably a reasonable volume of postal mailers that can be sent to donors. In my experience as a donor with a few, diverse charitable organizations, I feel like there is a one size fits all approach to donation prospect marketing. At some of these smaller organizations, like the local animal shelter, they may not have a dedicated marketing person, and so the work of keeping a clean, de-duplicated contact list is not a task that someone undertakes. I get that. But I have the same experience occurs with much larger organizations, where there likely is a person dedicated to donor marketing. What gives, no pun intended. Sending out 999 postcards instead of one-thousand does not seem significant, but it is likely the difference of seven hundred postal mailers versus one-thousand, four times a year. That really starts to add up!

This post is not meant to criticize the charities or to be extremely parsimonious. Additionally, I am not writing this from a position of authority, quite the opposite, I am inquiring after observation, discussion and wanting to understand. From the common feeling with our physician, we are just two guys of different generations and backgrounds that live in the same community. I was encouraged to write this knowing that I am not alone in this feeling. Charities, and the individuals working for them, whether paid or volunteer, please treat the marketing money like it is your own, and make the most of it.

One suggestion did come to mind. Reviewing LinkedIn’s new career advice feature, made me think that charities should not be shy about reaching out to marketing professionals on the social network, as there are some who would volunteer their time to help charities and non-profit organizations tighten up their marketing practices. A quick search of my linkedin network returned a handful of individual who could be contacted to assist.

feature image courtesy Kiplinger